The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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