Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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