Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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