We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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