shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
