i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that's an acceptable place to lick
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
