spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
