no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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