His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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