Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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