what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
