rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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