i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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