I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
