Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
