im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
