at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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