I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
