Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
