her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
