So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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