am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
