I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
