O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
