Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
