shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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