somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
