What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And then he peed in my hair
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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