Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
