SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
