What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
