Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
