How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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