and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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