She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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