I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize