Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
