He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
