I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize