Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
