question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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