we have officially lost it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Damn victory sex feels great
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