Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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