It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize