how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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