I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
