i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
