The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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