I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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