Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
