So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's never too late to be topless.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
