so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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