i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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