She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
