you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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