True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
