i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
