I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
