Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
