I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
