i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
