i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I need a beard to bite.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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