If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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