is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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