He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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