Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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