we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
did i just pee glitter
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
